This particular character wore a muscle suit under his clothes.
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I know from my old days of doing this feature that this is one of those nicknames that refers to a TV show only Brazilian people know about, which is itself a whole entire nickname genre. I just think it’d be rad and strangely intimidating if you’re basically telling opponents that you’ll hurt them so badly that they’ll wake up in the infant ward, surrounding by babies with heart murmurs and shit. I suspect it is not, but I really hope this is pronounced like NICU, as in the hospital intensive care unit for newborn babies. Honestly, I hope she sticks around in this sport long enough that the reference is lost on people and they think she’s just out here calling herself a newborn fucking shark, ideally well into middle-age. Yep, that is definitely one of the available nicknames you can choose in the EA Sports Fight Night create-a-fighter mode. But I guess this ain’t bad, especially if you insist on starting a “streetwear” brand of the same name.Įither she’s got a sticky guard with long limbs that can snare you from all over, or else she likes to perch in the corner where the wall meets the ceiling and watch people shower. I think we all know that the real Italian dream is to own a moped and a little apartment with a balcony from which you can shout at friends and enemies alike as they pass by in the piazza. If you could see my face right now you’d know I’m wearing the expression someone gets when you give them a perfectly nice gift that they already have at home. Just imagine what you’d have to do to become anything more than, at best, the second-most famous fighter with that nickname. There’s only one Paulo Costa, and he’s the guy who never seems to have his shit all the way together. It’s a testament to what a total weirdsmobile he is that you really never even think about him having a nickname. But maybe when you’re walking around with face tattoos like that you don’t feel the need to do too much more.
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Jessy Jess sounds more like someone who will make you a dreamcatcher to hang on your bunk than it does a pro fighter. The UFC website lists her as having no nickname, but Tapology has this summer camp-ass moniker.
Might we suggest spicing it up by including where you’re from, some physical descriptor, or a quirk of your personality? Just saying, “The Obsessive-Compulsive Gladiator” would be someone we’d remember. At this point we could form an actual Roman legion with the dudes who think they’re the first one to go by Gladiator. Know why? Because Tapology lists at least 50 other fighters with some version of Gladiator as their nickname.
But if you end up becoming someone we actually need to know in this sport? We do reserve the right to give you a nickname and force it upon you. These two bastards got nary a nickname between them, according to the usual sources. With another one of those UFC Fight Night events (which tend to have about three different names themselves) coming up on Saturday, it’s time to dig through all the fighter nicknames on the card to see who’s making us care and who’s phoning that shit in.
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